Tuesday, September 23, 2008


Emo (pronounced /ˈiːmoʊ/) is a genre of music that originated from hardcore punk.[1] It has since come to describe several variations of music with common roots and associated fashion and stereotypes. In the mid-1980s, the term emo described a subgenre of hardcore punk which originated in the Washington, D.C. music scene. In later years, the term emocore, short for "emotional hardcore", was also used to describe the emotional performances of bands in the Washington, D.C. scene and some of the offshoot regional scenes such as Rites of Spring, Embrace, One Last Wish, Beefeater, Gray Matter, Fire Party, and later, Moss Icon (In more recent years, the term "emotive hardcore" has been used to describe the period).

Today, however, the term "emo" is sometimes stereotyped with tight jeans on males and females alike, long fringe (bangs) brushed to one side of the face or over one or both eyes, dyed black, straight hair, tight t-shirts (sometimes short sleeved) which often bear the names of emo bands (or other designer shirts), studded belts, belt buckles, canvas sneakers or skate shoes or other black shoes (often old and beaten up) and thick, black horn-rimmed glasses.

Gerard Way , the lead singer of My Chemical Romance stated in an interview that "emo is a pile of shit", and that his band was never emo. Panic at the Disco also stated in an interview with NME: "emo is bullshit." These two bands however tend to be classified as emo.

There are a few existing theories on how the entire emo subculture was started, though none of them are regarded as entirely compelling:

Theory 1: Some people have gone so far to suggest that "emo" originated in the 1980's, as a way to describe a branch of hardcore punk that appeared in the 1980's, with "emo" being short for "emotive/emotional hardcore/emoxcore/emocore/whatever," but these people are liars, as early emocore bands like Fugazi are about as far removed from Dashboard Confessional as is possible, and everybody on the internet knows that "emo" means "angsty kids who take pictures of themselves in a mirror on MySpace." Because random fat people sitting in their basements have confirmed this, it is generally accepted as true.

Theory 2: Some people believe that "emo" is a subculture which stemmed from goths, which stemmed from the punk culture. This is largely debatable and difficult to prove considering the drastic differences between the "goth" and "emo" subcultures: goths kill kittens, emos cry when kittens are killed. Emos wear tight pants, goths wear tripp pants. By numerous comparisons, those of the emo stereotype have more in common with a chocolate cookie than they do with goths.

Theory 3: The third theory, designed by Dr. Kent of the University of Stanford while he was on ecstasy, cites vague and obscure evidence that, he argued, strongly proved the LithuanianNihilist movement as being responsible for the emo subculture's outgrowth in the early 1990s, perhaps as a secret means of creating hybrids to take over the Earth's teenagers and other abnormally-hormonal people before the egg-shaped meteors came, possibly due to the "emos" being victims of a fungal infection developed by rogue Cuban scientists. Additionally, Dr. Kent believed that they would eventually grow cybernetic appendages to make themselves more superior to the rest of the human race, who would then be victims of a horrific parasitic fringe as detailed in his short paper on the issue, which stated, "they would eventually grow cybernetic appendages to make themselves more superior to the rest of the human race, who would then be victims of a horrific parasitic fringe." However, Dr. Kent was killed and eaten by Wilford Brimley in the early 1980s, at least two decades before the emo subculture started appearing at Hot Topic stores nationwide. Kent was once resurrected from the dead, so it's not impossible that he has again managed to return to the land of the living. This theory has proved controversial.

How to be EMO?
Emo is defined by Uncyclopedia (and Heavies, their natural enemies) as an asexual being which likes to cry, uses makeup and appears suffering just to seem “cool”.
This guide will help you to become a sexless whiner respectable member of the gay emo community (Do you really want this? I feel so sorry for you). And for a short time, is
entirely free!!! Just keep reading (of course if you can read to this point without crying by feeling strongly... I say, simply offended, you can't become emo). Advanced Emos: We all know that you're not enjoying this, because for once you can see out of two eyes, so we'll just skip the introduction, soon enough this will give you a reason to cut yourself anyway. Too late, you already read it.

Step One: A reason for being Emo
although there has been a wide speculation for why someone would become an emo, the most likely theory is that they read this article.

An emo must look like a girl with many gynecological... I say, psychological problems. So this is the second first step. "Our dudes look like chicks, our chicks look like dykes, cos emo is one step below tranvestite" When choosing your clothes,hair and makeup, keep that In mind. That is a verse from the "Emo Song" it will give you detailed information on how to acheive your new look. Sept the Catcher in The Rye part, that's false. I personally read that book and did not jack off. Are you happy now Adam and Andrew, you made me read. My Life Is Terrible *emo sob*......*snaps back to normal* and it's as easy as that kids.

Dressing is very important to an emo, because it tells to the world “I'm homosexual and mentally damaged, but I don't care about your opinion.” To tell everyone else that you want to follow the millions of people who also became emo, you will need:
Converse or Vans shoes (or combat boots): Branding is crucial, if they aren't of these brands, forget about meeting an emo mate. The shoes can be pink or black. If you find pink + black combos, much better or you can were checkered shoes black and white or black and pink.
Girl Jeans: In other words, tight in the genital area. So the pressure, with time will make your voice sharper and make your balls vanish, if you still have them.
Band T-shirts: Loads of My Chemical Romance, The Used, etc band t-shirts to say "I am a non conformist look at my shirt!" ((if unsure try PARAMORE))
Long sleeves shirt with black and white stripes: If it has a Jack (not the lifting device, we are talking about that gay skeleton which appeared in “Nightmare Before Christmas” movie) design, the better.
Black Jacket: If you don't care about the hot summer weather outside, Will the world will care about you? Of course not. Remember that emo is suffering much even if isn't necessary.
Glasses: “But I can see clearly.” Emos don't care. Glasses, even if they don't work, are a kind of insignia which shows that this emo cried many times and tried to suicide even more times, and deserves being respected by that.
Millions of The Used or My Chemical Romance bracelets and/or wristbands: They can be also logoless, the aim is covering those horrible wrist scars which ruin your delicate and extremely white skin.
You can also try to imitate a kid that plays World Of Warcraft constantly *cough(wess marks)cough* just no life on that game and you'll end up getting that no lifeing down fer sure.
Spikey stuff, such as bracelets, necklaces, and lips studs.

Hair Style
Hair Style can be the most important thing to recognize an emo. Because it demonstrates that the money not spent in scarfs, knives, rope and other suicide tools, is spent in gel. To do the hair style, you must do a kind of “V” in your hair and letting it fall in front of your face. Because you must hide it to keep everyone else from seeing your eyes and your tears.

Hair color
Your hair must be black. But if you have a streak of any color, you'll be more respected by other emos (they like red and blonde the most, green and blue are starting to become more popular). But you'll be more hated by anyone else (that's it, they hate you, other reason to cry and commit suicide).


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